Ways to make your wedding enjoyable for neurospicy legends
12 things to consider when planning a wedding if you or your favourite people are neurodiverse
Planning a wedding is like crafting the perfect spell – it’s all about balance, harmony, and a touch of magic. As someone who’s part of the neurospicy club myself, I pride myself on creating wedding environments that are inclusive and enjoyable for all. So, here are some top tips to ensure your special day is as neurodiverse-friendly as it is magical!
1. Fewer Guests = Less Overwhelm
Let’s face it, big crowds can be daunting. Keeping your guest list on the smaller side can help minimise overwhelm and create a more intimate atmosphere. This allows everyone to feel more comfortable and connected, and let’s be honest, fewer guests means fewer names to remember!
Think of it as a cosy gathering of your favourite adventurers rather than a bustling marketplace. This way, everyone can feel more at ease and truly enjoy the day (it’ll also save you a hell of a lot of money going from 200+ guests down to 50 or less… just sayin’).
2. Designated Quiet Rooms & Spaces
Even the most magical event can be overwhelming, and not just for ND people either. Sometimes, you just need a break from the hustle and bustle. Providing designated quiet rooms or spaces where you or your guests can retreat to when they need a breather is a game-changer.
Think of it as a safe haven, where anyone can escape for a moment of calm amidst the celebrations. Plush seating, soft lighting, and maybe even a few fidget toys can make these spaces extra inviting - the perfect way to recharge before diving back into the festivities.
3. Online Guests for the Win
Why not add a sprinkle of tech magic? For those who find noise and chaos overwhelming, an online wedding (video live stream) can be a brilliant solution. Plus, it means you can share your joy with loved ones who might not be able to attend in person.
Hosting part of your wedding online means guests who prefer to avoid large crowds can still be part of your special day. They can witness the vows, hear the toasts/speeches, and even dance from the comfort of their own home to your pre-made playlist if they want. It’s a win-win for inclusivity and involvement.
4. Sensory Accommodations
To create a truly inclusive wedding, consider the five senses and how they can affect your guests, even more so if you and/or your partner are neurospicy or sensitive folks:
- Sight: Pay attention to lighting. Avoiding harsh or flashing lights can prevent triggering. Soft, ambient lighting creates a warm and inviting atmosphere. Both indoor and outdoor settings should be visually calming and inviting. Having some darker rooms (or dark rooms if that’s your thing 😉) can also be helpful to those sensitive to light as well but just make sure that you are comfortable, that’s the main thing.
- Smell: Be mindful of strong smelling florals, perfumes, and room sprays. There are unscented or mildly scented options for pretty much everything nowadays, this can help you to avoid overwhelming anyone’s senses. You want your wedding to smell lovely, not overwhelming, right?
- Sound: Keep the volume in check. Consider using sound equipment that allows for adjustable volume levels and provide earplugs for those who are sensitive to loud noises. Consider using speakers that distribute sound evenly without being too intrusive. You could even go for a headphone disco – each person can choose which channel of music to listen to, adjust the volume and still enjoy the party vibes.
- Taste: Weddings can be long days and it’s common for MANY couples to not eat and drink enough as the days goes on, but for spicy folks there’s an even bigger chance… time blindness, hyperfocus, sensory overload (though hopefully that will be avoided by using these tips) and sensitivity to taste and texture. Think simple, flavourful dishes that aren’t too spicy or complex.
Pick safe foods for you and your partner, check in with guests dietary requirements within the RSVPs and designate someone to bring you food and drink throughout the day (could be someone in your wedding party or if you have a wedding planner they will likely do this anyway). - Touch: Choose clothing, footwear, and accessories that are comfortable and non-restrictive. Breathable fabrics can be a god send. Soft fabrics for decor can also make a big difference.
5. Alternative Entertainment
Traditional wedding entertainment not your thing? Not a problem, embrace activities that cater to different preferences, there are soooooo many options nowadays (and you know I love quirky options):
- Games Rooms: Set up a space with board games, video games, tabletop games, card games, or even puzzles. It’s a great way to engage guests who might not be keen on dancing.
- Karaoke: A bit of karaoke can be a blast for those who love to sing their hearts out. It’s a fun, low-pressure activity that lets guests participate at their own comfort level. Just make sure it’s in a separate area where noise levels can be controlled. FYI if you’re nervous that no one will want to be the first to sing, I will always volunteer as tribute if needed.
- Bonfire & Toasting Marshmallows: If you’re having an outdoor wedding, a bonfire is a fantastic way to create a cosy, laid-back atmosphere. It provides a relaxing setting and who can resist the charm of toasting marshmallows under the stars? Make sure you have someone from the venue keeping an eye on this though rather than you or your guests and hopefully you won’t get too much smoke in your faces.
6. Clear Communication and Schedules
Provide a detailed itinerary of the day’s events ahead of time. This helps all your guests know what to expect and reduces anxiety. Clearly mark important times, such as the ceremony start, meal times, and any key activities. Consider including a map of the venue with quiet areas and facilities highlighted.
7. Accessible Seating Options
Ensure that seating arrangements are flexible and comfortable. You could even offer a variety of seating types, including chairs with cushions, benches, and even floor seating with plenty of pillows. This allows guests to choose what makes them most comfortable.
8. Sensory-Friendly Favors
Give your guests wedding favours that cater to different sensory needs. Consider items like fidget toys, stress balls, or small scented sachets (with mild, pleasant scents). These favours can be both thoughtful and practical, providing guests with tools to help them stay calm and engaged.
You may have seen on social media where each guest has had a personalised letter from the newlyweds when they sit down for food, adding this to a personalised favour would be such a beautiful gesture.
9. Inclusive Speeches and Toasts
Encourage those giving speeches and toasts to be mindful of their audience. Short, heartfelt messages are often more effective and less overwhelming than lengthy or loud speeches.
Bonus points - if possible, provide transcripts of the speeches for guests who might find it easier to follow along that way.
10. Visual Aids and Signage
Use clear and simple signage throughout the venue to guide guests. Visual aids, such as diagrams or symbols, can be incredibly helpful for those who might struggle with written directions. Consider using large, easy-to-read fonts and high-contrast colours to make signs more accessible.
I would also recommend the same treatment for the order of the day, place it somewhere all guests can access it so everyone knows where they should be and when.
11. Breaks and Downtime
Incorporate scheduled breaks into the day’s events. This allows everyone, especially neurodiverse guests, to take a breather and recharge. These breaks can be a great time to visit the quiet spaces, take a stroll outside, or simply relax away from the crowd.
It’s also an often overlooked part of the timeline, but go somewhere private just you and your new spouse after your ceremony to soak in what’s just happened and revel in your married-ness!
12. Personalised Invitations and RSVPs
When sending out invitations, include a note inviting guests to share any specific needs or accommodations they might require. This shows that you’re considerate and proactive about making your event inclusive and will make accommodating them a LOT easier in the long run.
Offer a variety of ways to RSVP (e.g., online, by phone, or by mail) to cater to different preferences as well.
You could also have a note in your invitations for those who need them to bring items to help with their overwhelm – popular items include sunglasses, headphones or loop earplugs, fidget toys or certain fabrics.
Final Thoughts
The little details can make all the difference, turning a memorable wedding into an unforgettable experience for everyone involved. By incorporating these tips, you’ll be well on your way to creating a magical day that’s enjoyable for everyone. Remember, it’s your special day, and making it inclusive will only add to the joy and love you share with your guests.
Creating a neurodiverse-friendly wedding isn’t just about accommodations – it’s about celebrating the unique magic each individual brings to your day. With a little planning and a lot of love, your wedding can be an inclusive, enchanting event that everyone will remember fondly.
Remember, the key is to stay true to who you are and what you love. After all, your wedding is a reflection of your journey together, quirks and all. So, let’s embrace our neurospicy magic and create a day that’s truly unforgettable.
If you’re looking for more inspiration and tips on planning a nerdy, magical, and unforgettable wedding, don’t hesitate to explore my blog or get in touch with me directly.
Let’s make your wedding a celebration that’s as unique and wonderful as you are! 💫✨
